11 replies to this topic

[DJ SpunN]

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood...

You can make nice with Iran and Palestineand we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us... You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are
under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values...You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N... But we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a
right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheehan, Barbara Streisand, &
Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And we won't have to press 1 for English.

[Damn_Hooligan]

Amen!!!!!

[Paul]

Divorce with who? that is a long message...lol

[ltr450rider]

i like the bumper sticker that says: "Does my American flag offend you?, If so, call 1-800-F**K-OFF!"

[THEPISTONHEAD]

A big AMEN to all of the above!!!!

[Paul]

Yeah i like the pics...haha

[DJ SpunN]

truth hurts some people.....lol

[fluentdesigns]

I have decided to leave this thread open as long as all comments and posts stay within guidelines of the site rules. Have fun!

[Burnin Daylight]

AMEN to the Divorce. I think I'll leave the USA as soon as I can find a better place to go. (Well I guess I'm staying. Couldn't find a Better Place. (AMEN)

[Paul]

in a few more years i wanna move to india or new zealand. cause india doesnt have nearly as much rules as here. and new zealand is a beautiful place

[ltr450rider]

The big problem with anywhere else but the west coast, No Dunes and No Havasu. I'm stayin here till they kick me out.

[DJ SpunN]

well we need to get a new state government....give me the office for texas they are loaded right now